So, there is a big buzz going around about what is basically promising to be the "American Idol" of book publishing. Slut it up here
I have some pretty strong opinions on this which I will share below. It's not going to be pretty or polite, so if you're looking for "Nice Zoe" she's left the building for the day.
To be very blunt about this contest, I think it's lame.
I read the fine print. In the first place, with all the people who are going to be entering this thing I think your odds are really no better than they are if you were to go the traditional route trying to get an agent or submitting to small presses.
Supposedly these people are just Desperate to increase book sales and find new talent. If that's true, you should just leap right out of the slush pile, right? I don't buy it. I think it's just a bunch of publicity nonsense taking a bunch of newbie writers' hopes and dreams for a ride through their Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory of Doom.
From the site:
Submissions may not be submitted elsewhere unless and until the entrant has been eliminated from the Competition. By entering your Submission in the Competition, you hereby give Touchstone/Fireside (an imprint of Simon & Schuster) first publication rights to your manuscript until such time as you are eliminated from the Competition.
Excuse me? What? I'm your butt monkey now? I submit and you own me in some kind of novel limbo until such time as I'm eliminated? Yeah um...ok. Sure. I'll get right on that.
Granted, I do understand the purpose of them holding rights while the individual is in the competition, it would be crazy for someone to win and go: "Yeah, sorry I just got offered a better contract somewhere else." Still, the fact remains...if I've put my hat in the ring of your writing lottery, I can't actually pursue any other means of publication. (i.e. querying agents to represent me.)
And while it's RUDE to simultaneous submit to editors, it's pretty impractical to let a manuscript sit in a slush pile forever while you're waiting on someone to pass on it. Still, THIS says they own your ass until you're eliminated. If I was real serious about getting published...which I am...it seems a bit silly to tie myself up for months at a time when I could be sending out query letters.
The other thing that makes the little red flashing lights go off:
• By entering this Competition, you agree that if you are selected as the Grand Prize Winner, you will sign Simon & Schuster’s standard publishing agreement within five days of receipt of the agreement.
Whoa, there bucko...so assuming I'm the "one true chosen one" I have to just sign over my soul within five days? Is this a fiction contest or a hostage situation?
Also, is five days really enough time to find an agent or a lawyer to look over it to protect you? I mean we're talking a big publisher here with giant thirty page contracts designed to screw you over without the proper buffers in place. Does ANYONE go into a contract with a big publisher without a second set of eyes to protect them from evil legalese?
They aren't incredibly specific about what's in it for the poor sob that wins. ($5,000, a publishing contract, and distribution through Borders. Excuse me for saying so, but Borders alone isn't very wide distribution for a publisher of that clout.)
So...I'm just going to sit back and watch it like reality TV, like I did when Darva Conger, love her heart, won "Who wants to marry a multi-millionaire" and married a relatively poor (for a millionaire) balding ugly guy with no personality, whose later very public divorce was splashed all over the tabloids.
I imagine this will be something similar. I can't wait to meet the little Darva.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
750 words a day
Yeah, I'm raising the bar, slackers. ;) So I made a blogpost not too long ago about "100 words a day"
100 words is literally nothing. It's so easy that anyone who even THINKS about calling themselves a writer, can do it.
Now that we're over that hurdle I'm proposing 750. Now before you start digging in your claws and freaking out like I'm taking you to the vet to get you neutered...hang with me a second. 100 is like a "trick" to get yourself going.
It's the "well, just do it until then and see how you feel." It's the thing that "gets you started." And that's all fine and good. However, once you get to the place where it's easy for you to "get started," the 100 words isn't very motivating anymore. You write the 100, you're going, but now where do you go? What goal is a worthy goal?
Enter 750. Let's do the math here. If you write 260 days a year, (that's 2 days off a week, like most people with regular jobs), you've written 195,000 words. That's 2 novels (though you still have to edit/revise.) If you write every day, because really, what's 750 words in the grand scheme of things...that's 273,750. Damn!
I had to redo that on my calculator just to make sure the number was right. That's 3 decent sized novels. Consistency is so much better than writing in fits and starts.
So why 750? Maybe it's some kind of psychological trick, but 750 still feels like almost nothing. It's not the daunting, scary "official" 1000. But it's still a respectable amount of words that slowly builds over time. Also, it doesn't take forever to do.
I type pretty fast, and when I write a rough draft I don't sit and second guess myself, I just write it, so I can generally write 1,000 words in about 45 minutes or so. A lot of people can probably write 750 words (on the computer) in 30 minutes to an hour. This isn't a huge time involvement and it's something you can do successfully over the long term without burning out.
Most professional writers don't do actual "writing" 8 hours a day. You burn out too quick. ACTUAL writing, most I've talked to, we're talking 2-3 hours. (and if it was longer, a lot of that was spent staring at the screen or something, not actually typing. I'm talking actual typing here.)
Anyway...enough rambling. I think 750 is my magic number. What about you?
* The 750 words a day idea comes from the LJ novel in 90 community.
100 words is literally nothing. It's so easy that anyone who even THINKS about calling themselves a writer, can do it.
Now that we're over that hurdle I'm proposing 750. Now before you start digging in your claws and freaking out like I'm taking you to the vet to get you neutered...hang with me a second. 100 is like a "trick" to get yourself going.
It's the "well, just do it until then and see how you feel." It's the thing that "gets you started." And that's all fine and good. However, once you get to the place where it's easy for you to "get started," the 100 words isn't very motivating anymore. You write the 100, you're going, but now where do you go? What goal is a worthy goal?
Enter 750. Let's do the math here. If you write 260 days a year, (that's 2 days off a week, like most people with regular jobs), you've written 195,000 words. That's 2 novels (though you still have to edit/revise.) If you write every day, because really, what's 750 words in the grand scheme of things...that's 273,750. Damn!
I had to redo that on my calculator just to make sure the number was right. That's 3 decent sized novels. Consistency is so much better than writing in fits and starts.
So why 750? Maybe it's some kind of psychological trick, but 750 still feels like almost nothing. It's not the daunting, scary "official" 1000. But it's still a respectable amount of words that slowly builds over time. Also, it doesn't take forever to do.
I type pretty fast, and when I write a rough draft I don't sit and second guess myself, I just write it, so I can generally write 1,000 words in about 45 minutes or so. A lot of people can probably write 750 words (on the computer) in 30 minutes to an hour. This isn't a huge time involvement and it's something you can do successfully over the long term without burning out.
Most professional writers don't do actual "writing" 8 hours a day. You burn out too quick. ACTUAL writing, most I've talked to, we're talking 2-3 hours. (and if it was longer, a lot of that was spent staring at the screen or something, not actually typing. I'm talking actual typing here.)
Anyway...enough rambling. I think 750 is my magic number. What about you?
* The 750 words a day idea comes from the LJ novel in 90 community.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Do you steer your ship or do you wait for the wind to blow you?
Magic. Fate. Luck. They're all very romantic notions that probably every writer at one point or another has spoken of. I know I have. With me it's the "magic of this" or the "magic of that." But the "magic" I think it's good to remember, is you. Dumbo's feather wasn't the magic. It's nice sometimes to think those things, but it can be a crutch rather than a help in the end.
What about fate? And luck? Writers often want to credit good luck with their success and blame failures on bad luck. I'm not sure I believe this is a healthy way of seeing things, because it makes you dependent on the whims of some outside mystical force that you can't predict, so why try?
If something is defined as "good luck" then how can you replicate it? If you blame "bad luck," how can you learn to grow? I know it's a horrible cliche, but I truly believe luck is when hard work meets opportunity. All the luck in the world won't help you if you haven't been honing your craft and completeing manuscripts to submit.
It's not a very popular idea, but I believe taking responsibility for your writing will get you farther down the road than believing in magic or luck. The best shot you have is becoming a truly great writer. Make your goal something more ambitious than just "good enough to be published." Both "good writing" and "great writing" are subjective, but whining about someone not recognizing your brilliance does nothing but identify you as a whiner.
A lot of writers want to blame bad luck. And maybe someday I'll be bitter and cynical and be one of those writers, but I hope not. Maybe my adorably cute "naive optimism" will someday be gone. Still, I hope I always understand that my greatest shot is to develop a strong writing voice and produce great writing. Take responsibility, it's empowering. Far more empowering than sitting around and wishing on a star. If your writing isn't great, figure out how to make it so.
It always comes back to craft. Read more, write more. Get your work critiqued, enter contests. Submit. Submit. Submit. But don't wait for luck. Just get better.
Take control of your ship.
What about fate? And luck? Writers often want to credit good luck with their success and blame failures on bad luck. I'm not sure I believe this is a healthy way of seeing things, because it makes you dependent on the whims of some outside mystical force that you can't predict, so why try?
If something is defined as "good luck" then how can you replicate it? If you blame "bad luck," how can you learn to grow? I know it's a horrible cliche, but I truly believe luck is when hard work meets opportunity. All the luck in the world won't help you if you haven't been honing your craft and completeing manuscripts to submit.
It's not a very popular idea, but I believe taking responsibility for your writing will get you farther down the road than believing in magic or luck. The best shot you have is becoming a truly great writer. Make your goal something more ambitious than just "good enough to be published." Both "good writing" and "great writing" are subjective, but whining about someone not recognizing your brilliance does nothing but identify you as a whiner.
A lot of writers want to blame bad luck. And maybe someday I'll be bitter and cynical and be one of those writers, but I hope not. Maybe my adorably cute "naive optimism" will someday be gone. Still, I hope I always understand that my greatest shot is to develop a strong writing voice and produce great writing. Take responsibility, it's empowering. Far more empowering than sitting around and wishing on a star. If your writing isn't great, figure out how to make it so.
It always comes back to craft. Read more, write more. Get your work critiqued, enter contests. Submit. Submit. Submit. But don't wait for luck. Just get better.
Take control of your ship.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
The Crime of Fanfic: An evil, soulless miscreant speaks out:
I stumbled upon a big ole self righteous argument about fanfic on Lee Goldberg's blog. (note the self-righteous behavior wasn't his actual blogpost. While I disagree with a few of his views on it, he wasn't an arrogant jerk, so I'm not going to make an issue of it.) It was really other people who responded to his blog that were misbehaving.
So...my views on fanfic:
First the legality/morality issue of fanfic:
The words "copyright infringement" are bandied about by a lot of people who don't seem to understand why copyright law exists. Copyright protects the ACTUAL EXPRESSION OF AN IDEA, not the idea itself. There are no new ideas. TRADEMARK protects characters and worlds. It is my opinion that a fanfic author could not ever win a lawsuit to protect a fanfic from being "stolen" by the original author. Not because of "copyright" law, but because of trademark law. That story cannot BELONG to you because they aren't your freaking characters. And everyone knows who's characters they are.
(I thought of an exception to this, since authorized media tie ins I believe are copyrighted in the author's name. But I think the keyword here is "authorized." You can't just write a star trek novel and get it copyrighted if it isn't authorized.)
If you're a big enough author to have fanfic written about your stuff, trust me...we all know who your characters belong to. So far a "fanfic" case has never actually gone to court. (And don't bring up Marion Zimmer Bradley...that never went to court, there were just threats of lawsuits. Anyone can threaten. It doesn't mean they have a case.) Also, the vast majority of fanfics posted online have a copyright legal disclaimer making it clear that the intent is not to infringe on copyright, pretty much waiving the fanfic writer's "right" to sue anybody.
Until a case goes to court, I'm going to consider the "incredibly famous author could lose rights to stuff everyone in the known universe knows is his" concept as retardia and nothing more. When a fanfic case goes to court, then let's talk about this.
I don't personally agree with authors who complain about fanfic. I can maybe understand a little bit of the fear that drives it despite the reality of a fanfic case never having gone to court. (Take the infamous Marrion Zimmer Bradley cautionary tale. While I feel that this is a pretty insane reason to send cease and desist letters, the story is whispered almost reverently among published authors fearful of their fans revolting.)
HOWEVER, despite my diagreeing with authors who disallow fanfic, I would never write fanfic in a verse where the author had explicitly said "no, don't do this." Of course I won't buy their books either. That's just how I feel about it. And I have a right to those feelings. It's not a petulant "you won't let me write fanfic, I won't read your stuff" It's more a: "I feel like you're overreacting and showing lack of support for your fans and I'm not on board with that attitude." I'm a fan and customer, and like any customer, I'll vote with my wallet.
People who are against fanfic whether it's based on some kind of classist elitism or self righteous indignation, or they just plain don't like it, often paint all fanfic writers as amoral miscreants. The vast majority of those who write fanfic, write it and share it for fun and to be part of a larger fan community. The vast majority respect the wishes of the Author who says "don't do it" and just don't play in that sandbox. The vast majority would never try to sue or harm an author whose world they wrote in.
So really, if you're still on this: "OMG aren't you ashamed you're so evil and immoral" bandwagon, get over it. It's tired and makes you look like a ninny IMO.
The other issue of fanfic that seems to be argued ad nauseum:
You aren't a "real writer" if you write fanfic. I believe this is a strawman argument. For one thing I've yet to personally meet anyone who thought they were a "real writer" BECAUSE they wrote fanfic. I HAVE, however come across people who write original fic and ALSO happen to write fanfic for fun who call themselves real writers.
There is this elitist classism among the "holy and respectful and real" writers who don't write fanfic against the "evil, heathen, defacing, disrespectful, criminal fake" writers who make all their original writing null and void by participating in a hobby.
When framed that way it DOES look pretty stupid doesn't it?
So why do I like fanfic?
1. Well, it's fun for one thing. I think really that if you have a passion for something, say writing... It's emotionally healthy to participate in the act in ways that aren't for profit. i.e. fanfic. Paul Goyet referred to people who write fanfic as "soulless." However I think doing something for the sheer enjoyment of it without looking to fame or monetary gain is one of the least soulless things you can do.
2. It builds community for fannish geeks like myself. We like to speculate about other people's characters and what if they did this or that. (And despite people complaining about anal sex fanfic, I think even fanfic smut has it's place as a way of exploring situations that would never be appropriate for the 'mainstream' audience of the original story/show/whatever.) Although...I will say, Harry Potter porn? Nasty. Isn't that like vicarious pedophelia?
3. And finally, ANY writing you do improves your other writing. The act of writing teaches you to write. And while I agree that fanfic isn't "real writing" in the same sense that original fic is, and it's not a literary genre... I still think it has its uses, like any writing exercise in the grand scheme of things. I mean really...if given the option do you want to do a writing exercise describing the clear blue sky outside or something that happened to your cousin when he was three, or would you rather write about something that you're passionate about?
So...fanfic, yay or nay? Stupid? Pointless? Evil? Fun? Weigh in. I might be away for a bit...I have to write some of that evil fanfic anal sex that people get so worked up about. *Listens to the sound of a thousand fanfic haters screaming.*
So...my views on fanfic:
First the legality/morality issue of fanfic:
The words "copyright infringement" are bandied about by a lot of people who don't seem to understand why copyright law exists. Copyright protects the ACTUAL EXPRESSION OF AN IDEA, not the idea itself. There are no new ideas. TRADEMARK protects characters and worlds. It is my opinion that a fanfic author could not ever win a lawsuit to protect a fanfic from being "stolen" by the original author. Not because of "copyright" law, but because of trademark law. That story cannot BELONG to you because they aren't your freaking characters. And everyone knows who's characters they are.
(I thought of an exception to this, since authorized media tie ins I believe are copyrighted in the author's name. But I think the keyword here is "authorized." You can't just write a star trek novel and get it copyrighted if it isn't authorized.)
If you're a big enough author to have fanfic written about your stuff, trust me...we all know who your characters belong to. So far a "fanfic" case has never actually gone to court. (And don't bring up Marion Zimmer Bradley...that never went to court, there were just threats of lawsuits. Anyone can threaten. It doesn't mean they have a case.) Also, the vast majority of fanfics posted online have a copyright legal disclaimer making it clear that the intent is not to infringe on copyright, pretty much waiving the fanfic writer's "right" to sue anybody.
Until a case goes to court, I'm going to consider the "incredibly famous author could lose rights to stuff everyone in the known universe knows is his" concept as retardia and nothing more. When a fanfic case goes to court, then let's talk about this.
I don't personally agree with authors who complain about fanfic. I can maybe understand a little bit of the fear that drives it despite the reality of a fanfic case never having gone to court. (Take the infamous Marrion Zimmer Bradley cautionary tale. While I feel that this is a pretty insane reason to send cease and desist letters, the story is whispered almost reverently among published authors fearful of their fans revolting.)
HOWEVER, despite my diagreeing with authors who disallow fanfic, I would never write fanfic in a verse where the author had explicitly said "no, don't do this." Of course I won't buy their books either. That's just how I feel about it. And I have a right to those feelings. It's not a petulant "you won't let me write fanfic, I won't read your stuff" It's more a: "I feel like you're overreacting and showing lack of support for your fans and I'm not on board with that attitude." I'm a fan and customer, and like any customer, I'll vote with my wallet.
People who are against fanfic whether it's based on some kind of classist elitism or self righteous indignation, or they just plain don't like it, often paint all fanfic writers as amoral miscreants. The vast majority of those who write fanfic, write it and share it for fun and to be part of a larger fan community. The vast majority respect the wishes of the Author who says "don't do it" and just don't play in that sandbox. The vast majority would never try to sue or harm an author whose world they wrote in.
So really, if you're still on this: "OMG aren't you ashamed you're so evil and immoral" bandwagon, get over it. It's tired and makes you look like a ninny IMO.
The other issue of fanfic that seems to be argued ad nauseum:
You aren't a "real writer" if you write fanfic. I believe this is a strawman argument. For one thing I've yet to personally meet anyone who thought they were a "real writer" BECAUSE they wrote fanfic. I HAVE, however come across people who write original fic and ALSO happen to write fanfic for fun who call themselves real writers.
There is this elitist classism among the "holy and respectful and real" writers who don't write fanfic against the "evil, heathen, defacing, disrespectful, criminal fake" writers who make all their original writing null and void by participating in a hobby.
When framed that way it DOES look pretty stupid doesn't it?
So why do I like fanfic?
1. Well, it's fun for one thing. I think really that if you have a passion for something, say writing... It's emotionally healthy to participate in the act in ways that aren't for profit. i.e. fanfic. Paul Goyet referred to people who write fanfic as "soulless." However I think doing something for the sheer enjoyment of it without looking to fame or monetary gain is one of the least soulless things you can do.
2. It builds community for fannish geeks like myself. We like to speculate about other people's characters and what if they did this or that. (And despite people complaining about anal sex fanfic, I think even fanfic smut has it's place as a way of exploring situations that would never be appropriate for the 'mainstream' audience of the original story/show/whatever.) Although...I will say, Harry Potter porn? Nasty. Isn't that like vicarious pedophelia?
3. And finally, ANY writing you do improves your other writing. The act of writing teaches you to write. And while I agree that fanfic isn't "real writing" in the same sense that original fic is, and it's not a literary genre... I still think it has its uses, like any writing exercise in the grand scheme of things. I mean really...if given the option do you want to do a writing exercise describing the clear blue sky outside or something that happened to your cousin when he was three, or would you rather write about something that you're passionate about?
So...fanfic, yay or nay? Stupid? Pointless? Evil? Fun? Weigh in. I might be away for a bit...I have to write some of that evil fanfic anal sex that people get so worked up about. *Listens to the sound of a thousand fanfic haters screaming.*
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
That dream where...
Ok, I know what writing is like...well, writing for an audience at least... (I know this on a very small scale and I assume it's even more true of a larger audience.)
It's like that dream where you're in Wal-mart and everybody is staring at you and you look down and you forgot to put clothes on. You just somehow left the house without clothing.
Stick with me on this one...
Anytime you write anything you're exposing something. Hell, you might not be running stark naked down the street, but you're at the very least showing a little leg or some cleavage. Has this metaphor gone on too long? Yeah, I thought so...
Onward...
Whatever you write has to come from some place of honesty if it's going to really affect anyone. At least that's what I believe. And when you do that, you're exposing yourself in some way. Your thoughts, your feelings, your basic psychology, all out there for just anyone to see. You might as well just get rid of the blinds at your house and have naked day. (Sorry, I said I was gonna stop with the naked talk.)
And it doesn't matter what you write, how innocent it is...it will offend someone. It doesn't matter how great it is...someone will hate it. You could be a bestselling author with tons of awards and still some people will hate what you write. (wow, I can feel the positive energy flowing around the room, can't you guys?)
I was reading Laurell K. Hamilton's blog not too long ago and she was talking about her "negative fans." These are people who buy all her books, and go to book signings and stand in line for hours just to tell her how much they hate what she's written. Eeek.
I'm not a negative fan of hers, although I did stop at the book about Edward, cause I couldn't get into it as much as the others cause he wasn't a vampire or a werewolf. Not that I don't like normal men, I mean that's what we really have here, but I'm just saying if I have a world with vampires and were-whatevers as an option...I'm going that route. I didn't just skip to the next book because I hate to read a series out of order, but I might just have to because I'm told it gets very very dirty. And therefore I have to read it.
I do find myself doing the "negative fan" thing with fanfic though. I don't go out of my way to find it, but if I find something really horrible or tiresome in one way or another I'll read every update of it just out of morbid curiosity.
So yeah...now that you're feeling all cheery.... You're going to have this. If you share your work with the world there will be people who love it, and there will be people who hate it. The people who hate it might just stop reading, or they might keep on just out of morbid fascination and speculate about your mental health.
Still you have to write. You chose this...actually scratch that. It chose you. I believe pretty strongly that writing is a calling. You can't really quit. It's inside you, you have to let it out. Now you can choose not to share it, but the writing part itself...I pretty much think that's your calling. It's your superhero gift and you should use it.
But...if you decide to share it in some form, well, no one said you got to keep your clothes on. Oh look, it's Wal-mart! :)
Ok, so why did I drag you through this mud? Why did I rain on your parade and make you feel all yucky? Because...if you write and if you intend to share it in some form, you are one of the brave ones. And courage is a kickass quality. You should be proud of that. Most people can't put themselves out there like that. If you can...then you rock!
It's like that dream where you're in Wal-mart and everybody is staring at you and you look down and you forgot to put clothes on. You just somehow left the house without clothing.
Stick with me on this one...
Anytime you write anything you're exposing something. Hell, you might not be running stark naked down the street, but you're at the very least showing a little leg or some cleavage. Has this metaphor gone on too long? Yeah, I thought so...
Onward...
Whatever you write has to come from some place of honesty if it's going to really affect anyone. At least that's what I believe. And when you do that, you're exposing yourself in some way. Your thoughts, your feelings, your basic psychology, all out there for just anyone to see. You might as well just get rid of the blinds at your house and have naked day. (Sorry, I said I was gonna stop with the naked talk.)
And it doesn't matter what you write, how innocent it is...it will offend someone. It doesn't matter how great it is...someone will hate it. You could be a bestselling author with tons of awards and still some people will hate what you write. (wow, I can feel the positive energy flowing around the room, can't you guys?)
I was reading Laurell K. Hamilton's blog not too long ago and she was talking about her "negative fans." These are people who buy all her books, and go to book signings and stand in line for hours just to tell her how much they hate what she's written. Eeek.
I'm not a negative fan of hers, although I did stop at the book about Edward, cause I couldn't get into it as much as the others cause he wasn't a vampire or a werewolf. Not that I don't like normal men, I mean that's what we really have here, but I'm just saying if I have a world with vampires and were-whatevers as an option...I'm going that route. I didn't just skip to the next book because I hate to read a series out of order, but I might just have to because I'm told it gets very very dirty. And therefore I have to read it.
I do find myself doing the "negative fan" thing with fanfic though. I don't go out of my way to find it, but if I find something really horrible or tiresome in one way or another I'll read every update of it just out of morbid curiosity.
So yeah...now that you're feeling all cheery.... You're going to have this. If you share your work with the world there will be people who love it, and there will be people who hate it. The people who hate it might just stop reading, or they might keep on just out of morbid fascination and speculate about your mental health.
Still you have to write. You chose this...actually scratch that. It chose you. I believe pretty strongly that writing is a calling. You can't really quit. It's inside you, you have to let it out. Now you can choose not to share it, but the writing part itself...I pretty much think that's your calling. It's your superhero gift and you should use it.
But...if you decide to share it in some form, well, no one said you got to keep your clothes on. Oh look, it's Wal-mart! :)
Ok, so why did I drag you through this mud? Why did I rain on your parade and make you feel all yucky? Because...if you write and if you intend to share it in some form, you are one of the brave ones. And courage is a kickass quality. You should be proud of that. Most people can't put themselves out there like that. If you can...then you rock!
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Honesty vs. Bitchiness
This is something I struggle with a lot. I post it here in the "writer blog" because I've lately gotten back into message boards and group stuff online and my current discussion venue of choice is writing related message boards.
Let's be frank about it. I can be a bitch. I'm sure a lot of people can. In my desire to be "honest" about how I feel about things, I sometimes cross a line. Something that I'm becoming increasingly more aware of and trying to stop doing.
I have several different factions of myself at war with each other, and sometimes it gives way to bitchiness. On the one hand, I'm very much against false sentiment. If I don't like you I won't go out of my way to pretend that I do. If I don't like something you said about something, I won't just "go along with it" to appear more popular.
But there is a line, which I have on occasion crossed, from honest expression to bitchiness. I'm not sure what it is about me, but it does ocassionally crop up. The thing is, that's not who I want to be. I genuinely don't want to be a person who says things that hurt other people.
Some people say this type of bitchiness stems from low self-esteem, but I don't think that that's the case with me. I do have my moments of self doubt, but on the whole my esteem for myself is pretty healthy. Maybe it's this whole "being in my twenties" thing.
I've heard a lot of women in their twenties sort of flounder trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be. I think I'm there right now. Two things tend to make me "bitch out."
1. If I feel backed into a corner or like someone is trying to walk over me. I'll stand up for myself. I say what I think about things. It's important to me that other people know that I'm not someone who is "nice" just not to rock the boat. I hope that I don't actively seek out confrontation (I know I have before), but I don't avoid it at all costs either.
2. If I'm a part of a discussion where I feel like there is a lot of "fakeness." Sometimes I have to call bullshit. The trouble with that of course is that we call bullshit as we see it. But seeing it doesn't make it so, especially when we're in our own little worlds of perception.
Neither of these concepts by themselves are bad. It's perfectly noble and OK to want to be a genuine person, even if it means being blunt, and standing up for yourself. But there is a line that can be crossed. I need to find that balance within myself.
I post this here and think about it because I'm putting myself and my name out there. And while false sentiment annoys the holy fuck out of me...maybe it's not such a bad idea to follow the "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" principle. Because people remember things. I don't want five years from now someone to despise me based on some stupid thing I once said on a message board based on some weird little 'be true to myself' compass.
Perhaps it IS it's own little variation on the self esteem issue. In some areas I have loads of self esteem. In others, maybe not so much. I should work on that.
Let's be frank about it. I can be a bitch. I'm sure a lot of people can. In my desire to be "honest" about how I feel about things, I sometimes cross a line. Something that I'm becoming increasingly more aware of and trying to stop doing.
I have several different factions of myself at war with each other, and sometimes it gives way to bitchiness. On the one hand, I'm very much against false sentiment. If I don't like you I won't go out of my way to pretend that I do. If I don't like something you said about something, I won't just "go along with it" to appear more popular.
But there is a line, which I have on occasion crossed, from honest expression to bitchiness. I'm not sure what it is about me, but it does ocassionally crop up. The thing is, that's not who I want to be. I genuinely don't want to be a person who says things that hurt other people.
Some people say this type of bitchiness stems from low self-esteem, but I don't think that that's the case with me. I do have my moments of self doubt, but on the whole my esteem for myself is pretty healthy. Maybe it's this whole "being in my twenties" thing.
I've heard a lot of women in their twenties sort of flounder trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be. I think I'm there right now. Two things tend to make me "bitch out."
1. If I feel backed into a corner or like someone is trying to walk over me. I'll stand up for myself. I say what I think about things. It's important to me that other people know that I'm not someone who is "nice" just not to rock the boat. I hope that I don't actively seek out confrontation (I know I have before), but I don't avoid it at all costs either.
2. If I'm a part of a discussion where I feel like there is a lot of "fakeness." Sometimes I have to call bullshit. The trouble with that of course is that we call bullshit as we see it. But seeing it doesn't make it so, especially when we're in our own little worlds of perception.
Neither of these concepts by themselves are bad. It's perfectly noble and OK to want to be a genuine person, even if it means being blunt, and standing up for yourself. But there is a line that can be crossed. I need to find that balance within myself.
I post this here and think about it because I'm putting myself and my name out there. And while false sentiment annoys the holy fuck out of me...maybe it's not such a bad idea to follow the "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" principle. Because people remember things. I don't want five years from now someone to despise me based on some stupid thing I once said on a message board based on some weird little 'be true to myself' compass.
Perhaps it IS it's own little variation on the self esteem issue. In some areas I have loads of self esteem. In others, maybe not so much. I should work on that.
Monday, January 8, 2007
Reading: the missing ingredient:
If girls are made with sugar and spice, great writing is made with lots of writing and lots of reading. Yeah, it doesn't sound as sexy as 'sugar and spice.' Oh well. Despite the lack of sexiness, I'm a firm believer that these are the two most powerful and basic ways to improve your writing.
The writing part is often the easier of the two, even when it's not easy. You know you want to write, so you set your goals and you sit down and you do it. It's harder to carve out the time to read. Mostly because when you already have other responsibilities and you're trying to carve out time to write, you feel pretty guilty carving out time to read too.
Many people greater than me have said it, "If you don't have time to read, you don't have time to write." (Actually it may have been Stephen King that said those exact words, but I'm sure he wasn't the first and won't be the last.)
I've decided this year, to track my reading progress. LJ is spotlighting a pretty cool little community that accomplishes this called:50 book challenge
The goal for members is to read 50 books in a year. My goal isn't 50 books exactly, but 50 novels. With nonfiction I rarely read every word. I tend to skim to the parts I really need the most. I also intend to keep track of the novels I read in a reader's journal I have, where I can write the books I read and review them and put the date, blah blah blah. (I know, I'm a big dork.)
I generally try to do my reading at the gym. I read while I'm walking on the indoor walking track. (And I don't bump into things...go me!) So I manage to do two things at once that a lot of people (women especially) seem to feel guilty doing for themselves, exercising and reading for pleasure.
As a side note and veering just a tiny bit, a lot of writers say they don't have time to go to the gym. I think it's important to try to take care of yourself and exercise is an big part of that. You know you need to read, you know you need to exercise, so go to the gym and read. Incidentally, you don't have to walk on the track to do it if that weirds you out; many bicycles and treadmills are set up for reading. Two birds, one stone. As Larry the Cable Guy would say: "Get er done!" Okay, I promise I will never use those words again.
Now go read!
The writing part is often the easier of the two, even when it's not easy. You know you want to write, so you set your goals and you sit down and you do it. It's harder to carve out the time to read. Mostly because when you already have other responsibilities and you're trying to carve out time to write, you feel pretty guilty carving out time to read too.
Many people greater than me have said it, "If you don't have time to read, you don't have time to write." (Actually it may have been Stephen King that said those exact words, but I'm sure he wasn't the first and won't be the last.)
I've decided this year, to track my reading progress. LJ is spotlighting a pretty cool little community that accomplishes this called:50 book challenge
The goal for members is to read 50 books in a year. My goal isn't 50 books exactly, but 50 novels. With nonfiction I rarely read every word. I tend to skim to the parts I really need the most. I also intend to keep track of the novels I read in a reader's journal I have, where I can write the books I read and review them and put the date, blah blah blah. (I know, I'm a big dork.)
I generally try to do my reading at the gym. I read while I'm walking on the indoor walking track. (And I don't bump into things...go me!) So I manage to do two things at once that a lot of people (women especially) seem to feel guilty doing for themselves, exercising and reading for pleasure.
As a side note and veering just a tiny bit, a lot of writers say they don't have time to go to the gym. I think it's important to try to take care of yourself and exercise is an big part of that. You know you need to read, you know you need to exercise, so go to the gym and read. Incidentally, you don't have to walk on the track to do it if that weirds you out; many bicycles and treadmills are set up for reading. Two birds, one stone. As Larry the Cable Guy would say: "Get er done!" Okay, I promise I will never use those words again.
Now go read!
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